Fitness Challenge...

I did fairly well on my goals this past week in terms of bringing my lunches to work. I did have take out chinese and thai food as well, but one or two meals are ok.

I didn't do well on my fitness goals. It's so hard to start things back up again. I was trying to analyse what I felt about that. And I think what I felt was fear. Fear of going back to spin class because holy hell is it hard (almost that same fear of doing it the first time). Fear of the pain that is sure to follow because I haven't done my workouts in about 2 months. Fear of once again getting to a good place and then letting it go again.

I have also thought a bit about my goals. I tend to make big goals. Maybe I am a baby goal person? I can't make monthly goals it appears, because I can't sustain it.

So part of my fitness fear is because prior to August I did hard core workouts. Big weights, whole lotta butt and leg stuff. I stopped that because I once again threw out my back and I just couldn't continue. Now that I am better I need to get back into the gym, or back into fitness (cause it doesn't have to be the gym). But I'm scared a little bit. Of the workouts I used to do. So I decided to make a smaller fitness goal for myself. I actually want to make it through the 30 Day Shred. I need to ease back into fitness, and 30 minutes a day seems an ok way to do that.

I'm not saying I'm going to do it 30 days straight, that's not feasible for me, so I am going to try for 5 days out of the week. I tend to get bored with the 30 DS, so that's why I want to try to get through each level in 10 days or so. What happens on the 30 DS is pretty easy (in terms of the moves), compared to what I had been doing, so something familiar and non-threatening. 

I am going to start tomorrow. My bf and I have a Thanksgiving day brunch cruise around the Toronto harbour tomorrow...so what better day to start than on a day of a buffet and the day before turkey dinner?

I don't want a repeat of what happened in the Gap dressing room yesterday...disgust...anger...shame..sadness. I can't keep doing that. And I'm so sick of constantly making promises and goals and then having to renege or just fail. Kinda hurts the self esteem ;) I'm also thinking of going back to WW...meetings, not online. There's a meeting on Friday mornings that I could do before I go to work. I don't know how I feel about points plus...but it is quite apparent that I can't continue on my own.