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Wednesday 7 March 2012

Eating out blues

I love eating out. Give me a choice between home made and eating out and I will choose eating out 9 times outta 10. However, when I am OP, I try not to eat out as much because obviously it's really not that good for you. Even choosing the healthier options, nothing beats what you can put together yourself at home and you know exactly what's it in.

I had a dinner with co-workers today. I wasn't really stressing it cause I knew about it since last week and I got up at 6:30 this morning to hit the gym before work cause I know I wouldn't go after work, and I ate balanced and light throughout the day.

My issue with eating out is twofold:

#1 - I NEVER choose the "healthier" option. Ever. It's a very odd justification too. I'm paying to eat out and therefore I want choose whatever the hell I want, not what I can cook at home. However, do I not pay for my healthy groceries? Do I not pay for the food I use to cook at home? So how does this justification work? Not sure. My head's messed up sometimes. But that's my justification.

#2 - I have a very very very hard time following my hunger signals when I eat out. I want to get my "money's worth" I guess? It's also because I don't get to eat that food all the time, so I go all glutton on it.

Went went to Marche Restaurant downtown Toronto. For those not in the know, it's a market style restaurant with all of these different stations and your food gets cooked in front of. omg, the choices!! I walked around like 4 times trying to figure out what I wanted. I ended up with the halibut fish and chips. I LOVE halibut. I'm from the west coast and halibut is my favourite white fish. It was a huge portion too. It was just soo good! I wanted to enjoy every bite of it. I left some fries on the plate (like 4, lol) and probably 1/4 of the fish. But for probably 5 minutes before I actually stopped I had this running through my head: "you're full, obey your hunger signs! You're full, obey your hunger signs!" It took much longer than I would have liked to stop eating. It also took a lot of strength to push the plate away and give the rest to my co-workers.

Then, despite my actually acknowledging my hunger signs and pushing the plate away, I still wanted dessert. I didn't have room for dessert. The fish and chips had my at my cap for the day, including eating what I got from my workout in the morning. My co-worker had mentioned getting something and I thought, hmm, maybe we could share. Then she backed out. I think the only thing that stopped me was that if I got dessert, I'd be the only one at the table indulging. It may not sound like a lot, but it felt like I would stick out, stigma almost is how I would describe it (not that any of my co-workers would EVER make me feel that way, this is all in my head, lol). So I didn't get dessert. But I thought about it. Seriously thought about it.

I'm glad I didn't get dessert. I didn't need it. I had sweets yesterday and have no need to indulge again. I think what also saved me is that I had some candies on the way out of the restaurant (they had jellybeans and hard candies as you leave). God, there was so much sugar in those things! They made me feel ill. It gave me no desire to have anything else except water to flush this out of my system.

So despite the progress I've made in other areas, eating out still remains a huge challenge. One that I am not terribly sure how to overcome.

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