Comfort food

What is it about food that is so comforting? I'm trying to figure out why I gravitate to certain foods when I'm feeling emotional (read: pissed or sad).

Do you know what my ultimate comfort food meal is? Cheese toast (or tuna melt) with tomato soup and LOTS of premium plus saltine crackers, with a big ice tea (the kind you make from a mix). On the surface there's not a whole lot wrong with it, because it really depends on the ingredients I use (low fat vs. regular fat cheese, the amount of miracle whip I use, the type of bread etc., and the amount of saltines I actually end up eating). But I do eat to extreme fullness. There is a lot of salt in this meal, and I love it.

I didn't know what I was planning for lunch today. But I do know that I didn't follow my overall plan. My grand plan for today was breakfast, then grocery shopping, then gym, then lunch. But now I am so full that I have to put off the gym until later in the day.

So why the comfort food? Sigh. I peeked again. Apparently I am not the type of person who learns from her mistakes! lol. I peeked this morning and got pissed off. I was up 0.2. Yet, a) it's TOM, b) I was dressed and had already eaten breakfast, and c) my WI IS TOMORROW!!!!

Ugh. Remember my last post when I said that "oh the scale is just one part blah blah blah"? Damn, what a hypocrite I am! Not even a day later! I know why I did it. I was feeling confident. Even dressed and after I had eaten, I was feeling confident that it'd be down. Silly Meighan. Not silly to have confidence, but silly to not keep that confidence going until tomorrow morning and just have pride that I can hold out for an entire week.

Because where did that peek lead me? To eat waaaay too much and ignore my hunger signals, and to make a meal that wasn't really as OP as I would have liked. As I was making it, I also had some negative energy thoughts running through my head. Somewhere along the lines of "eff the scale, I'm gonna do what I want!" Um, Megs, that's what got you into this situation in the first place! Using food as a weapon. But who am I hurting? Myself! I am deliberately hurting myself! That's crazy. No one else is going to be hurt by my poor choices, so what gives?

So that's the million dollar question...if my choices are only hurting me, then why do I keep making the wrong decisions based on destructive thought patterns? Something to ponder...